lostcarnival | ⇨ THE ATHENAEUM

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⇨ THE ATHENAEUM

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 47 - Day 58 ish
Where: The Athenaeum
What: The carnival arrives at book world. First week, they'll be performing for magical manifestations of book characters. Second week, it's time to hunt (for books, in the library.) Around Day 58 some stuff will occur.
Warnings: Reading is mandatory.

FAERIE TALES↴

Though the carnival will be performing for its guests in the first week, they are welcome to search the Athenaeum while they are off duty during that time. The manifestations of story characters will be out in full force during performance week, with animals, people, objects, and even locations growing out from various tales. Most are distracting at worst, and will be curious to check out the carnival. Some, however, can be as dangerous as they were in their stories of origin. You know what to do.

► IT'S TIME TO ROLEPLAY: The best way to deal with book ghosts is to follow their narrative to its logical conclusion - turn the tables, work the story so it ends in your favour! Naturalistic and narratively satisfying plotting will have the manifestations following your lead. However, push too hard and introduce too many plot holes, inconsistencies, or illogical plot twists, and they will reject your reality utterly, becoming quite aggressive in the process. You can also use your natural abilities and powers to fight them in a traditional sense, but in the Ringmaster's experience, it's best to fight reality benders by bending reality right back at them. If you aren't careful, it's possible to be dragged fully into a story's reality, and then things get really messed up.

► IT'S ALSO TIME TO READ: The carnival came here for a purpose, and that purpose is to research. Specifically, the Ringmaster is looking for information on the Queen's Miracles - the set of ancient fae artifacts that the Blue Rose is one of. The carnival needs these artifacts to defend itself, but nobody knows where they've been for thousands of years. That's what the books are for. However, nothing is stopping you from pursuing knowledge for personal reasons. The halls are open to your perusal, and only your heart can guide you to the book you truly seek. Check the plot post to see what's allowed, and sign up to find plot info or other important game information below.

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Rita's eyes widen, her breath catching in her throat. They had books on that...? But of course they do. If Rita was able to find a part of herself she never knew about, then there's no reason 9S couldn't...

In an instant, Rita's problems suddenly seem a lot smaller. 9S just read about his own death... or at least, the deaths of some other versions of him. It's hard to imagine what that must be like.

"...You mean, against 2B...?" she asks, cautiously. Rita's not sure if he'd want to talk about it, and she doesn't want to pressure him.

9S nods. "That 9S knew the mission to investigate a temple was really a cover for 2B to take him out. So he set up a trap and used his hacking abilities to defeat her... But Command knew he would do that and set up a trap for him inside 2B's head."

He looks down at the book. "He was the only one who fought back. Most of them didn't get that chance, or just... let it happen. One of them killed himself instead."

The 9S who made 2B promise to keep killing him. It was sad, reading how the killing and the promise affected her. His fingers tighten over the edge of the cover. There were so many 9Ses who died in so many different ways to 2B, but none of them ever hated her for it.

"...You know, I thought it would be painful reading this." Because of course he read the entire thing. Even if the content was grim, there was no way he could not read it. "But I feel okay." He lifts his gaze to Rita. "Is that weird?"

It's hard to hear about these other 9Ses, to imagine what they went through. If 9S hadn't come to the carnival, would he have ended up the same way? Dead, without even putting up a fight?

Rita won't ever let that happen. Not to this 9S.

While she didn't expect 9S to be okay with all of this, exactly, she doesn't find it hard to believe. She shakes her head. "If that makes you weird, then so am I," she says, her expression softening. "I've always thought it's better to know than not know, even if it's a painful truth. Maybe it's like... I don't know, like you're getting back something you lost."

9S sidles a little closer to Rita so he can lean against her side. They're both similar in that regard. Maybe that's why he'd felt a kind of kinship with Rita when they first met. The thirst for knowledge and the preference to knowing painful truths over blissful ignorance.

"Yeah..."

He glances down at the book. These were all memories he lost when he was killed. They don't belong to him, but they also do, kind of.

"I guess...a part of me felt I was interchangeable with all the other 9Ses." He lifts his gaze to Rita. "We all have the same personality data, you know? But even though we all started down the same path, we still ended up different people." He places his palm on the cover. "Before reading this, I never knew for sure."

Interchangeable... In truth, Rita doesn't know nearly enough about androids to try to argue it. After all, when 9S first described the replacement process, it almost seemed like immortality, in a way.

But it's not. Those 9Ses were different... and they're gone.

Rita leans her head on his shoulder, simply focusing on his warmth for the moment. "You were able to break out of the cycle and find your own way." She reaches over and places a hand over his, atop the book cover. "Maybe years from now, there'll be a story here about the first 9S to have a happy ending."

Heat rises to his cheeks when Rita leans her head on his shoulder and places her hand over his. Before, it seemed so hard to image, caught in that inevitable cycle of suffering. But with Rita... he can believe.

His voice is thick with emotion when he murmurs, "Yeah..." He leans his head against hers, turning his hand so he can thread his fingers through hers. "And he'll have cherished evey moment with his partner, Rita."

Now it's Rita's turn to feel her face getting hot. "When you put it that way, it almost sounds stupidly sappy..." she murmurs, but apparently isn't embarrassed enough to move out of this position.

Thinking about the future like this, though... It brings her mind back to a problem that they've probably both thought of, but haven't really talked about yet. After all, it still feels so far away... and yet, it may be inevitable.

"Hey, Nines?" she begins, her hand tightening as it interlocks with his. "...How long can androids live?"

He'd been asked that question before. But hearing it from Rita, in this context...

"As long as we keep up maintenance, forever. Theoretically." His gaze falls to where their hands are held together. "...Are you worried?"

He is. The thought of the eventuality that Rita will die before he does makes his chest tighten.

It's just as she thought...

"A little," Rita admits. "I try not to think about... you know, dying. I always figure it's too far into the future to even worry about. Maybe that's wishful thinking." Rita's a teenager, it's easy to forget her own mortality, or at least ignore it. Even when she's in dangerous, potentially deadly situations, there's always a part of her that simply won't believe she might die.

Even though she already did, once.

"I don't want to leave you alone, but then again... you won't really be alone, right? You'll still have a whole world full of people you can meet and build relationships with... I'll just be the first." Rita doesn't know if 9S will be able to look at it that way, but she wants to believe he can be happy in the long term.

It's true that is a possibility in his future. That he could live on without her, maybe, that the relationships with other people he meets would keep the loneliness from encroaching on him.

But...

9S doesn't quite look at Rita, thumb rubbing circles on her hand. "...I was thinking... that maybe I would let myself shut down. After you die."

That is so not what she wanted to hear.

Rita pulls away, her eyes wide with horror. At first, she seems to struggle with a lump in her throat, but once she gets past it, she sputters in a burst of anger, "What do you mean, you'd just shut down!? Are you stupid!?"

9S's cat ears fly up in surprise when Rita suddenly pulls away.

"Of course not!" It's his life, isn't it? Besides, she'd be gone... "Why are you so mad about this?"

"Why wouldn't I be mad!?" Rita cries, incredulous. "You're talking about throwing your life away! Dying when you could be living! Like I'd be okay with that!"

Rita knew, on some level, that 9S was like this. Emotional. Obsessive. She could overlook that in most cases, but not this time. Not if it means he'll die.

"What if it happens sooner than we think? Would you still die then? Or... what if it was the other way around? Should I die if I can't be with you!?" He has to see how stupid this is!

9S flinches from the vehemence in Rita's voice. "No! Of course not!"

He'd never expect Rita to... to end her life if he was destroyed. But unlike him, she has a finite lifespan. She'll eventually die, whether she wants to or not.

"I don't know if I want to be someone who lives forever. I'd have to watch everyone I care about reach the end of their lives. I don't... I don't know if I could go through that, over and over again."

Both him and 2B haven't been in production for very long, but he's read how killing him over and over took a toll on her. Sure, 2B having to actively kill all the 9Ses is different from someone naturally passing away -- a best case scenario, for the world is always full of turmoil, isn't it? -- but... would she be just as sad if she had to continue living while those she loved were taken from her by the march of time?

Rita can't stay mad for long, not while hearing that. She deflates somewhat, letting out a long breath and lowering her gaze.

"... I don't mean you should have to live forever if you don't want to," she clarifies, her voice quieter now. When she thinks about it, demanding that someone live forever is just as cruel as expecting them to die. It wouldn't be fair.

"I can't force you to do anything, and I wouldn't want to, anyway." 9S's life is his own. He has to make his own choices. "But... your life is valuable. And it's valuable whether I'm around to think so or not. So don't even think about giving up on it so easily." There's a heavy tension in her tone, like she's trying to hold back even stronger emotions.

His chest hurts. What is this feeling?

"I know." His voice is barely above a whisper. "I know..."

Whenever he's with Rita, it feels as though his life has meaning. She isn't the only one in the Carnival who's treated him as though his life matters, but... It's so hard to see beyond the present. It's so hard to imagine what things will be like when Rita eventually dies, and whether he could go on.

It's just as frightening as when he felt he'd lost his purpose, questioning why he was even alive.

He puts the book on the floor and draws his knees up to his chest. "Rita? What do you think happens after we die?"

Rita leans back against the bookshelf, having said her piece. She doesn't know if she's convinced him or not... but maybe he'll think twice now before doing something stupid.

"I don't know," she answers, gazing up at the seemingly endless rows of books. "I always figured nothing happens, that we just go into a sort of dreamless sleep and never wake up." That's more or less what it was like when she experienced it firsthand in the Hunt... except she did wake up soon after. She didn't exactly get to stick around and find out if there was more to the whole experience.

"But now, knowing that souls really do exist... I'm not so sure." She glances back to 9S. "Why? What do you think?"

9S neither answers directly nor immediately.

"...Some records of the Old World said there's some kind of afterlife. Where souls would go depended on their deeds in life." He rests his chin on his knees. "I never knew if us androids had a soul to concern ourselves with, so it didn't seem to matter... until I came here."

He lifts his head and turns to face Rita.

"I'd like to believe that after we die, we get to go somewhere nice with all our loved ones."

An organic being only has one very short lifespan, but the work they wish to see come to fruition could take longer.

"I think I could keep going for longer, knowing we will meet again."

That seems almost backwards, but Rita doesn't say so. It seems like 9S needs some kind of hope to hold on to... Dismissing it would only hurt him.

"That's a pretty common belief among humans, even where I'm from," she comments, not quite touching on how likely she personally thinks it is (or isn't). Although the people of her world tend not to be as religious as those of Earth, many believe in some sort of afterlife, much like what he's describing. In some ways, 9S is more like most humans than she is...

After a pause, she finally adds, "It'd be nice, though... if we could."

"Yeah."

Leaning over, he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek, drawing back with a smile. There's no one else around, it's fine.

"But we still have this life together." Who knows what the future may hold? "So... we should enjoy it, while it lasts."

Rita's expression softens, her nervousness fading. She's not sure she's actually convinced him to keep living, and that bothers her... but she doesn't want to revive that argument now.

She holds a hand up to her face, lightly brushing her fingers where his lips just touched, then nods. They'll try to enjoy what time they have together... "Yeah... of course we will." It should go without saying.

"But for now, we should get back to this research," she adds after a moment, reaching for one of the books she's set aside on the floor. That's what they're here for, after all.

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⇨ THE ATHENAEUM

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